Lately, I have felt trapped. Trapped in this skin, trapped in this head, and trapped in this life, with these experiences that shouldn't be mine. I feel like I'm suffocating and this space I'm in keeps getting smaller and smaller, and all I can do is curl up in a ball and pray that someone will rescue me. I don't understand why I feel like this, I just do. I feel like I have been sucked into this blackhole. And I don't understand. I feel Aline and scared and confused. Asking the same things on a daily basis... who am I? Do I matter? And is there someone out there who can rescue me? A night in shining armor, Dr. Who? Anyone? I wish that all this crap never happened and that things can go back to normal. What happened to that blissful life I had just two months ago? I miss it. I want it back. I just want to be happy.
Ok... I know what I must do, but how do I do it? Do I even deserve it? I need to turn to Christ as in Jesus Christ, I need him to be the center of my life and is atonement to push me through this, no... not push, guide me. I want him to hug me and whisper in my ear while in his embrace "Abigail, I love you and if you let me, I will carry you." I just need and tern for a friend who will be my beacon of light and make sure I keep my thoughts toward my savior and my father in heavens plan for me. Why can't it be that easy? Why is it easier said than done? I don't understand.
Ok... I know what I must do, but how do I do it? Do I even deserve it? I need to turn to Christ as in Jesus Christ, I need him to be the center of my life and is atonement to push me through this, no... not push, guide me. I want him to hug me and whisper in my ear while in his embrace "Abigail, I love you and if you let me, I will carry you." I just need and tern for a friend who will be my beacon of light and make sure I keep my thoughts toward my savior and my father in heavens plan for me. Why can't it be that easy? Why is it easier said than done? I don't understand.
